Companions on a Journey 2006  

By Bertin & Alex Procope

“Journey 2006” proved to be a different experience from previous yeas in that it was much more realistic to the substantial challenges that couples face in our world today.

Our presenters, Fr Wilfred John and Clair and Peter Charles came from backgrounds that made them well equipped to deal with the topic “Challenges facing couples in the new millennium”.

Fr John, being a former schoolteacher and married and the Charles’ being married for the past 40 years. Claire a former teacher and Peter coming out of the advertising industry, that clearly contributes to the quality of life and choices that influence our lives today.

Fr John was the chief presenter on the first evening session. He outlined some of the challenges that face him as a priest that would also hold true for us as couples:

1. Keeping faithful to prayer in a world where our busy schedules often precludes time for the family getting together to praise God.
2. Praying not only for ourselves, but also for others. Discouragement in a world mostly concerned about materialistic values and achievements, where cultural and philanthropic achievements are not appreciated. Fr John reiterated that as a priest, he is not another social worker as some may feel. A priest holds a divine office that is responsible for praying for others and must bring Jesus’ presence of hope and a different spiritual perspective to living.
3. Proclaiming the doctrine of the Church. Being true and telling people the right things, even though they might not want to hear it. He expressed how difficult and stressful it was for priests in the United States to operate amidst the recent scandals of sexual misconduct in the Church that also caused financial ruin to many dioceses.

Unlike couples that have each other to rely upon, a priest may experience times of loneliness. However Fr John, who had a good marriage felt that in his case, it was the right decision to become a priest.

A priest’s life includes special care for the sick and dying, giving them the total package of anointing, reconciliation and communion, showing that God is merciful even though we may wait for the last minute to repent for our sins.

Cross-section of retreat participants at Credo House

The priest’s duty includes care of the bereaved who need continuing support and encouragement after the death of a loved one. Fr John reiterated that as couples we must correct situations before relationships begin to deteriorate, we must believe that love can survive the long haul and not live in a world of brokenness, questioning how long the marriage will last.

He believes that in this sphere, Companions on a Journey, meets the need for couples to relate in an informal environment where couples feel comfortable and can acknowledge that their situation is not unique in that others have faced the same problems and can take heart that through dialoguing together solutions can be found.

The discussions brought into focus the importance of pre-marriage classes and the presenters, in that they share their life experiences and guide the couples to a greater understanding of what are the bigger issues, so that they don’t get bogged down with the small domestic issues which can lead to disillusion and undermine the decision you made to love this person.

The session touched on some of the challenges that young couples have to deal with in our world today that were not as prevalent long ago.

1. The modern woman who is capable of looking after herself, but respecting the old time values of her husband being head of the home.
2. Supporting each other and not holding on to antiquated role models.
3. As parents teaching our children generosity and raising up young men to the priesthood, since societal pressures does not encourage priestly vocations.
4. The importance of couples praying together.

On day two Clair and Peter introduced us to the following ideas:
- Health – both physical and psychological.
- Children being brought up in a stable home.
– Stress hampers the child’s ability to learn.
– Parents striving to make more money and neglecting thechild’s emotional needs.
– Transmitting the scars of your childhood to your child.
– Leaving children to be responsible for their siblings.

They alsodiscussed developing rituals and celebrating events, the importance ofcomplimenting each other and the children and the need to communicate and come to decisions together.

At the end of the day the consensus was that we needed to be vigilant in the face of rising world trends that can lead not only our children but we ourselves to compromising our morals and families for the sake of progress.

Companion on a Journey wishes to thank all our presenters, including Msgr Spence, who as chief celebrant at our closing Mass delivered a stirring homily that reiterated the substance of the retreat in a surprising way even though he was not present.

Thanks too to our current coordinators, Romanus and Antoinette Telesford, head couple  Richard and Sharon Corbett, Leonora de Verteuil and our friends at Credo House, and all the other couples and friends who made our retreat a success and continue to keep Companions on a Journey relevant.