Called to Love Again

by Dolores Gervais

Divorce, separation or death of a spouse is always a devastating and traumatic experience for all those who are affected by it. Whether it be you, or your family, the hurt of such an experience is equally painful and difficult for the children to accept.

Families affected by divorce, separation or death are often victims of intense stress. The need to cope, understand and accept this new situation, forces them to blame themselves for the crisis.

Children, too, go through great emotional turmoil as a result of divorce, separation and death of a parent. They feel a sense of loss, abandonment, insecurity and confusion.

Most children believe that the parent who left actually left them or left because of them. Most times children don't understand what is happening, even in situations where there is abuse or violence in the marriage; they still feel that their world has come apart and they are powerless to fix it.

Children, who lose a parent due to death, suffer some of the same emotional pain and trauma that divorce and separation brings. For most children, loss and fear go hand in hand. They fear what will happen to them, where would they go? They too, like the adults, will be going through the grieving process.

These are just some of the outward effects of divorce, separation or death, on children. Research shows that as they grow older they may be hesitant to enter into long-term relationships out of fear of rejection or abandonment. It is for this reason that parents need to remind their children that they are not responsible for this crisis and that they are loved and appreciated.

It is plain to see that divorce, separation or death, can cause emotional damage to any family, especially the children. Do not despair; there is hope for you to rediscover yourself and ultimately help your children come to terms with the changes divorce, separation or death brings.

The Archdiocesan Family Life Commission's Ministry to the Separated, Divorced and Widowed (SDW) will be hosting a one-day conference on January 29, 2006 at Holy Faith Convent, Couva. The theme for the day is Called to Love Again. Persons of all faiths are welcome.

To register or for more information, please call Karena at the Archdiocesan Family Life Commission office - 672-4280, or contact Kay - 658-6648, Dolores - 637-5830 or Ken - 652-9841.